Monday, November 9, 2009

What weekends are for...

This weekend was so busy. Here's what we accomplished in the two days:
  • ripping out the old shelf and rod in our closet, repairing the walls, repainting, and installing a great new system by Rubbermaid that has loads of storage and shoe shelves (finally!) - it even has drawers! Love it.
  • putting up the Christmas lights... I know it's early, but it was so nice to do it on a rare warm day in November than a freeze-your-buns-off day in December!
  • bringing in our patio set for the winter... aw.
  • making 2.5 litres of applesauce with locally grown apples from the market. Yum!
  • making an apple-cranberry loaf
  • making 8 meals' worth of butternut squash soup. Loading up the freezer with fall harvest goodness!
  • making two loaves of spelt bread. I love my Kitchenaid stand mixer (which I won in a contest last year)! We used to have a bread machine, which was great, but when a small plastic part in it broke and Black & Decker wouldn't replace the broken piece (instead telling us to throw out this large countertop appliance and buy a new one), we opted not to get a new one. Not cool to add to landfills rather than replace a 50-cent part! B&D gets a big thumbs down.
  • making chocolate ice cream (without an ice cream maker!). This one's for the grown-ups, as it's full of Baileys and rum! Mm. It's so easy, too. Though if you do make it, expect an overnight freeze time - the four hours the recipe says is not long enough. Maybe it would be, if you put it in a shallow container (I didn't think of that until too late). I confess, I had a spoonful at breakfast this morning :)
  • cleaning the house... just a regular weekend task, but it got done along with everything else
  • installing blinds on four windows. We finally got rid of the last of the 'temporary' paper blinds that have been up for two years since we moved in!
  • Hosting our great friends for dinner. They brought their sweet daughter, whom I adore!
I think that's all! Good stuff. Isn't it satisfying to get stuff done?! Ok, I'm finished bragging about our accomplishments... With Christmas on the way, the blog giveaways have really ramped up lately! Here are some giveaways for today.

For baby:
For the ladies:
For anyone:
For the dog:
  • Win a Natural Luxe Eco-Me Natural Dog Kit at Mkokopelli. Ends November 15th.
Posted by Emily B at 12:11 PM 3 nice people said something
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Friday, November 6, 2009

Suckered!

Oh, my gosh. I can't believe I did this.

Mistake #1 - I got some amazon.com gift certificates from Swagbucks.
I really like Swagbucks - it's easy and fun to collect and redeem for gift certificates. But I should have gone for the amazon.ca ones they also have! I was enticed by all that amazon.com has to offer, even though they really only ship certain items to Canada. Bad Emily.

Mistake #2 - I ordered Teva sandals. Through amazon.com.
I have an identical pair of the Teva Olowahus that is 2 years old. I have worn them to the ground. The soles are quite thin and flat where my feet have worn footprints in. They have been super comfortable, they stay on, they are stylish and I loved them. But they are expensive for flip flops, and when I wrote an email to the company to say that I was disappointed that the soles deteriorated while the straps were still fine, I got the response that I could ship them at my cost to the States, where they would evaluate if the product was defective. That didn't address my complaint that the soles were simply not as durable as I would have liked for the price.
Okay. I'm not happy about that. But I still like them and I found some on amazon.com (through an affiliated seller, Deckers Outdoor) that I went ahead and ordered with my gift certificates. Doh!

Mistake #3 - I watched the costs add up and just... paid them.
I had $10 in gift certificates and allowed myself the splurge of an additional $14 (this is USD) for the shoes. Shipping was $9.95 (again USD). Ouch. Okay. Fine. I paid it. We're going to Mexico in 2 weeks and I need sandals to wear. Grand total $33.95 - $10 in gift certificates = $23.95 USD. This all translates to $26.51 Canadian on my Mastercard.

Mistake #4 - I didn't check what company Deckers Outdoor shipped with.
Yesterday I got a notice on my door... from UPS. Now if you have ever shipped cross-border, you will know that UPS is the worst of the worst for charging ridiculous brokerage fees. The notice said there was a COD charge of ... wait for it... $26.56. Let's break it down. The shoes had a value for duty of $25.81. The duty was $4.65. The GST was $3.96. Fine. I'm not thrilled about customs and duty charges, but I accept them. But the brokerage fee was $17.10. WTF? $17.10 just bought me... what? Somebody at UPS taking it through customs? Seriously?! Is that not part of the shipping (to Canada) that I already paid $9.95 for? More than doubling the cost of the actual product?!

ARGH! I HATE YOU, UPS!

Grand total for a pair of flip flops: $53.07 - plus $10 in gift certificates.
Oh, my gosh. I am a fool.
Posted by Emily B at 11:40 AM 6 nice people said something
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Snow!

I looked out my window this morning, and saw snow! Not a lot (yet... this is Canada!) but definitely snow. Yikes.

On the plus side, we will be in sunny Mexico in just a couple weeks! :) I definitely need the vacation.

Some giveaways for today...

For baby:
  • Win a $50 gift certificate to Apericots at Project Nursery! Ends November 13th.
  • Win a $50 gift certificate to Cute-ture at Organic Girl. Ends December 8th.
  • Win a $50 Bugalug prize pack (hair clips etc) at True Cuddles. (Must be a subscriber.) Perfect for little girls! Ends November 11th.
  • Win an ErgoPouch organic cotton quilted sleep pouch at Organic Girl. Ends November 23rd.
  • Win an aden+anais muslin sleeping bag at The Shopping Mama. Ends November 20th.
  • Win a Relion Temple Touch thermometer at Mommy MoMo. Ends November 19th.
  • Win a fun tambourine from Organically Hatched at Fun and Funky Mommy. Ends November 17th.
  • Win some adorable Twitter Birds adhesive fabric wall stickers from Love Mae Store at The Veater Family Adventures. Ends November 17th.
  • Win a set of Bummas wipes at Networking Witches. Ends November 17th.
  • Win a $25 gift certificate to KidSmart at Just Another Mom Blog. Canadians only! Ends November 13th.
  • Win a $30 gift certificate to Tiny Soles at Mama Manifesto. Ends November 12th.
  • Win a Moby Wrap from The Baby's Bundle at Just for Me... And You! Ends November 17th.
  • Win a Bum Boosa Eco Gift Basket (wipes - diaper rash ointment - lavender essential oil - recipe card for making your own natural baby products) at Sweeps4Bloggers. Hey, btw, I've read about lavender mimicking estrogen - something to be aware of, especially if you have little boys! Ends November 14th.
  • Win a Sleepy Wrap at Parent Reviewers! Ends November 14th.
For ladies:
For men:
  • Win a Remington Pivot Flex Foil Shaver at This Bird's Day. Christmas gift for that hard to buy for guy? Ends November 19th.
For the home:
Posted by Emily B at 9:05 AM 1 nice people said something
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Thursday, November 5, 2009

Some results

Just got back from the doctor, and my levels are steadily dropping. Yesterday the HCG count was at around 411. This is good news as it means the methotrexate is doing its job. I have three more blood tests over the next few weeks, and hopefully will see the levels go down to less than 5. Fingers crossed.

It kind of sucks going there. There were two hugely pregnant women in the waiting room, and a wall full of baby photographs. Ouch.

A few giveaways for today. Yesterday's list got bigger in the evening as I had a bit of time, so if you read it early in the day, might be worth another look! :)

For baby:
For ladies:
For anyone:
  • Win Christmas cards and enclosure tags by Jonesy (a Canadian company!) at {Natural} Mommie. Ends November 12th.
more to come...
Posted by Emily B at 2:51 PM 2 nice people said something
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Watch it online

I used to work in an office - a law firm - back before I jumped off the big cliff of self-employment. I liked working with people around me (it's pretty lonely now, working at home), but hated office politics, and the stress of my job made me sick and unhappy. I'm definitely glad I have had the experience, though. It makes the show The Office all that much more funny.

We have just caught up on watching the series. We hadn't watched it at all before last month, but our friends had recommended it, and I saw one episode on the plane on our way out west in September. So when we came home we set about watching the entire series on ninjavideo.net. My husband has hooked his computer up to the tv set, which is great. We don't have cable, just an antenna in the attic and the computer. We stream pretty much everything we watch, from tv to movies and documentaries. The video quality is amazing these days and it's really not complicated.

Anyway, I am loving The Office and wanted to say, if you've heard about it and never watched it... give it a chance. You may find some of the characters horrible and offensive (honestly, it's part of the humour, although sometimes it really is too much) but the show is kind of about that and how his co-workers deal with that. There's a reason this show is into its sixth season.

And if you're interested in watching tv online, missed an episode, are so done with commercials, want to see a program that just isn't on the stations you get, want to watch a series from the start, etc... try watching online. We have a DSL connection and it's just fine for streaming. With the streaming, too, you don't have to wait for shows to download like in the past. Just click and the show starts. It really is amazing and I can't imagine paying for cable anymore. We like ninjavideo, project free tv, and there's a site called ovguide that is like a search engine for videos if you want something a little harder to find. I find the best is ninjavideo.

Okay, that was just something I was thinking about. Random, right? Here are some giveaways for today...

For baby:
For grown-ups:
Posted by Emily B at 11:45 AM 4 nice people said something
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Vivid dreams

Last night I dreamt that the doctor's office called and told me once again to rush to the ER as my levels had spiked. Phew - just a dream. I woke up especially anxious.

The night before, after driving my getaway car directly into his mansion (it got caught up on a big sweeping marble staircase - oops) I was hired as a personal assistant to Pierce Brosnan, who apparently (in my dream) is very absent-minded and also enjoys walking around in the nude. Let me just say that I loved him as Bond (and way back when, as Remington Steele!) - but didn't particularly want to see him naked, although he is in great shape. I did like the awesome boots I got to wear in the dream. Pierce, if you're reading, feel free to send me some boots, size 6 1/2. You have great taste in women's footwear.

Weird things happen in my head while I sleep!

Some giveaways for today:

For baby:
For the ladies:
For anyone:
  • Win an audiobook copy of Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones at A Bookish Mom (I love audiobooks!). You've got to watch the movie trailer, it looks awesome! Ends November 5th.
more to come.
Posted by Emily B at 12:22 PM 0 nice people said something
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Monday, November 2, 2009

Positively Monday's giveaways

Done with blather (see previous long winded post) and on to some giveaways to share for today.

For anyone:
  • Win a prize pack featuring the Originals from The Body Shop - Canadians only! - at Sparkled Beauty. Ends November 13th.
  • Win a Glade prize pack at One Bored Mommy. This is another chance to win one of those great packages of candles, wine, reed diffuser and a Chapters GC! Again, Canadians only! Ends November 9th.
  • One more chance to win a Glade prize pack at Everything Up Close. Canadians only! Ends tomorrow, November 3rd!
  • Win Malcolm Gladwell's new book, What the Dog Saw, at Sweeps4Bloggers. Ends November 6th.
  • Win Christmas cards and tags by Jonesy at Feisty, Frugal and Fabulous. Ends November 12th.
p.s., I did two big lists of giveaways over the weekend as well, in case you missed them!
Posted by Emily B at 10:43 AM 3 nice people said something
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Trying to stay positive

...in the aftermath of having a miscarriage in June and an ectopic pregnancy in October. Yeah, this again... Sorry, it's just so heavy on my mind.

I had a methotrexate shot last Wednesday to terminate the ectopic pregnancy (which had started to end on its own, but not fast enough to alleviate my doctor's fears about rupturing my fallopian tube). What's that like? Well, it was mostly a lot of waiting in the ER, then two needles of the methotrexate in the bum (two injection locations increase absorption). This is a chemotherapy drug that basically stops cells from replicating. There are lots of potential side effects, but "all" I felt was a little nauseous and really tired. The nausea has passed, but I still feel fatigued. There's very little pain (just some continued cramping that I was experiencing before I got the shot), and no bleeding really, just the same daily spotting I've been having for two months now. I wasn't as far along (only 3-5 weeks is my guess) so this time there are no painful contractions, and no bouts of crazy bleeding (thank goodness) like last time.

My doctor has told me that this drug is teratogenic (it can cause deformity in a fetus), so we have to wait for at least three months before trying to conceive again, to make sure it's out of my system. Meanwhile I am getting lots of blood tests to watch my levels of HCG (human chorionic gonadotropin - the hormone that indicates pregnancy) and make sure they drop right down to zero.

After a year of trying and two lost babies, it's so hard to think we have to wait another three months before even trying again. (Honestly, it's going to suck to have to use condoms!) But we can't take the risk.

All of our closest friends now have babies one or two months old. Even our neighbours all have babies - I'm not exaggerating, both our immediate side neighbours, both our immediate backyard neighbours, one across the street, and two others beside our immediate neighbours have newborns. That's seven houses full of baby goodness, right outside every window in our house. We're surrounded. And I'm not going to lie, it's hard to be the only ones among our peers who are going through this. It's hard to hear about our friends' "surprise" pregnancy and wish it could be so easy for us. It's hard to hear about the new babies and even the parents' small complaints - I can't help but wish we could trade places.

Anyway... my point is, I'm going to try to stay positive. I'm not exactly a believer in the 'power of positive thinking', but at the same time I have seen how negative people seem to be magnets for trouble. I'm not sure if there's any logic there, as I am in general an optimist (and look what's happened to me!), but I find life is better when I am upbeat... and if I start to be pessimistic about things I could really see me spiraling into depression. So happy and hopeful is the plan.

I've been preparing myself for pregnancy for 15 months now. I started three months before we started 'trying'. I cut out caffeine, alcohol (except for a few occasions when I knew I could not possibly be pregnant and only had one drink), and try to get enough sleep. We already eat a very healthy vegetarian diet, but I've also cut out artificial sweeteners and non-pasteurized cheese. I stopped eating mayonnaise for a while during the two pregnancies. I kept track of my cycle. I avoided hot baths and hot tubs. I did everything I could to make sure I was an ideal candidate to conceive.

And really, I think it worked - we conceived after just 5 cycles of trying, then again the 3rd cycle after the miscarriage. I think we have just had two ultra bad luck flukes.

So I have these three months to wait. Three months that can go by however I choose. I can choose to be random and get my drink on (well, actually no, not with the methotrexate - increased risk of liver damage doesn't sound fun), eat all the junk food I want, stop going for my daily walks... or I can choose to maintain the pre-pregnancy lifestyle of healthy habits which may increase our chances of conception next time. Hmm, no contest. My body's been a temple for 15 months and I'm going to keep it that way.


One thing I'm doing that is at least making me feel a little in control of this situation is reading a book called Making Babies by Sami S. David, M.D. and Jill Blakeway, LAc. I won it (!) on the blog Park Avenue Princess and it came in the mail on Thursday - yes, the day after I got the shot that ended this pregnancy. I decided that November 1st was the first day of my three month wait, so last night I dove in and read the first three chapters.

It's basically about (so far) learning about your body, how conception works, and things you can do to increase your chances of conceiving a healthy baby. They combine backgrounds of Eastern and alternative medicine and traditional Western medicine. The focus is on natural conception, but they definitely discuss all the alternatives from acupuncture and herbal supplements to fertility drugs and IVF.

Even with all the reading I have done in the last year+, I am still learning new things as I read this book. It has a little much self-aggrandizement in the writing for my taste, but the information is easy to read and doesn't dumb down the details. I like the case studies and the diagrams and charts that are easy to understand. They have also included a basal body temperature chart (to photocopy and use) with wayyy more information on it than I have seen elsewhere - and discussed exactly what to look for to determine ovulation in three different ways! It's all the stuff we never discussed in health class. I'm talking cervical mucus here, with descriptions of exactly what it should look like and when; how to check out your own cervix, really detailed stuff like that, things my family doctor/midwife/girlfriends/mom certainly never told me.

So far I'm pretty impressed. I'm not sure how much it will help us as we do seem to be able to conceive, but I also am a big believer in knowing your own body and taking charge of your own health so I am very happy to be learning more and feeling a bit more in control and aware of myself. And who knows, maybe there's one simple thing that has meant we had these two flukey losses. Maybe there's one small thing we have missed that will help us have a healthy baby.

If I have learned anything in my experience with conceiving so far, and could give advice to anyone, it would be not to wait so long. I was 32 when we started trying, and I'll be in the last months of 34 or even 35 by the time we (hopefully) have a baby. While I have always wanted two children, the later it gets the less the likelihood that we will - my husband is saying with the increased risk of problems after 35, and how old we will be as parents, he doesn't want to have two anymore. (I still do. That's a whole other issue.)

For me I had a late start because I was married, then divorced (over my ex not wanting kids, there's irony for you), then I re-married last year. Obviously that's not the way I expected life to happen. And I had actually wanted to start trying back when I was 26... but that's not the way things panned out. Now time is working against us.

Anyway. I will be posting some giveaways later as well (in a separate post), if that's what you were looking for and got this instead!
Posted by Emily B at 9:01 AM 11 nice people said something
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Sunday, November 1, 2009

November already

The time flies, right? Here's hoping the next three months fly by. Well, maybe the next three weeks, then our week in Mexico (!) can go nice and slow, then after that I would like a speedy transition to February.

A few more giveaways today to share... still catching up.

For baby:
For the ladies:
Posted by Emily B at 10:15 AM 0 nice people said something
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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Last minute Saturday

I know I haven't posted any giveaways lately - so here are a few last minute ones to enter this weekend!

For baby:
For anyone:
  • Win a Clarisonic face brush at Guessing All The Way. Ends today, October 31st.
  • Win a Glade prize pack (candles, reed diffusers, wine and a $25 gift certificate to Chapters) at Feisty, Frugal and Fabulous. Canadians only! Ends today, October 31st.
  • Win the same awesome Glade prize pack at {Natural} Mommie. Canadians only! Ends November 2nd.
  • Win Malcolm Gladwell's new book What the Dog Saw at Wishing Penny. I'm a big fan of Gladwell! Ends November 2nd.
  • One more time for the Glade Prize pack at Country Mouse, City Mouse. Canadians only! Ends November 8th.
more to come!
Posted by Emily B at 1:41 PM 0 nice people said something
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

The update

So, of course, there was a reason the ob/gyn wanted to see me so quickly. An ultrasound on Monday again showed the ‘mass’ in my left tube that the first ultrasound back on October 8th showed (what happened on the 9th when they didn’t see it in the ultrasound at the hospital is anyone’s guess). It also shows a 3.7cm cyst in my right ovary, but that is not a big concern at this point.

As it turns out, it was an ectopic pregnancy after all. The latest blood test showed that the beta levels are going down, but not fast enough.

The ob/gyn sent me over to the hospital for a methotrexate shot. It’s a chemotherapy drug which will kill any remaining living tissue from the pregnancy. We’ll have to wait three months, until it’s out of my system, to try again.

I spent five hours at ER, they took 6 vials of blood, I got an IV put in then taken out again three hours later and two shots in the bum. And a prescription for Lorazepam to help with the stress of it all. It sucked at the hospital; people kept staring at me because I was crying. My husband couldn’t be there because he’s got the flu again.

I’ve got two more blood tests and another appointment with the ob/gyn next week as follow-up.

I’m pretty upset about it. I never thought I'd be terminating a pregnancy. Even though this is the only thing that could be done, I still feel upset. I have all the useless, childish reactions of it's not fair, why me... and even anger at the fetus for not just waiting until it was in the right place to implant... Yes, I know exactly how ridiculous that is!

Logically I can process all this stuff, but emotionally I'm frustrated, sad, and I feel betrayed. And I can't believe we have to wait three to six months for this crappy drug to leave my system before we can try again to conceive.

I have about a zillion giveaways (on other blogs) lined up to post about, but I'm just not up to it today. Maybe tomorrow.
Posted by Emily B at 11:06 AM 7 nice people said something
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Spice Up Your Life Winner!

Thank you all for entering, and thanks to Bindu for generously sponsoring this giveaway!
And the winner of this great flexitarian cookbook is....

Eve

Who will certainly enjoy the Shrimp Curry and the many other delicious recipes inside! Congratulations!

I am emailing her, and if I don't hear back within 48 hours I will redraw.
Posted by Emily B at 8:58 AM 1 nice people said something
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Newsflash

It is the LAST DAY to enter my giveaway for the Spice Up Your Life cookbook. Go on and enter, if you haven't yet - I know you will love the easy and delicious recipes!

The ultrasound I had yesterday was strange. You know how some u/s techs will tell you what they see, and some are really vague and want to leave it to the radiologist to figure out what the pictures show? This time I had the second kind. So I kept asking direct questions and she kept giving vague answers. One answer I did wrangle out of her was that she could not see a gestational sac. This is honestly a mystery wrapped in a riddle, wearing an invisibility cloak.

So I got them to forward the results to the ob/gyn that I have finally been referred to, and his office called me this morning to bump my appointment up to tomorrow, and they want me to go for more blood work today. I guess finally someone gets the urgency of all this. I've only been bleeding for 50 freaking days now.

I'm off to the blood lab.
Posted by Emily B at 10:08 AM 2 nice people said something
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Monday, October 26, 2009

Airport exposure

I had a great time this weekend traveling. We drove down to Buffalo, and then flew from there out to Baltimore. We did some shopping in Baltimore, spent two days sight-seeing in Washington, and then flew back to Buffalo and drove home again. All in all a fun trip.

But at the Baltimore-Washington airport, something weird happened to me. I was randomly selected to step into this big grey booth. I was directed to step in, put my feet on the yellow footprints and raise my arms. A few seconds and it was over with. The security agent spoke into a radio, and then told me I was cleared. I figured it was some sort of scan but really didn't know what had just happened to me.

When I was cleared moments later, my husband told me it was a whole-body imaging (aka millimeter wave scanning) booth. What's that? "It scans your body like an x-ray, just under your clothes," he told me, "It's very controversial."

Yeah. No kidding. At first I thought it was funny, and overall less invasive than a physical pat-down. But I just read up on it and it basically uses ultra high frequency radio waves to send an image of your body to a computer in a closed room apart from the security screening area. Just your body. Clothes are rendered translucent. The technician viewing the image never sees the subject in person, and the security personnel with the subject never sees the image. They say images are not recorded in any way (who really knows if that's true?). It boils down to - some stranger just saw me naked. The picture you see at left is an example of what these images look like. The faces are blurred, apparently (are they? There is no way for the traveler to be sure of this), but as you can see it gives a very clear image of everything else.

There were no warnings about health risks (or privacy invasion) at all, that I could see. Nor was I told verbally about any risks, or given the option for a pat-down instead. I honestly had no idea what was happening to me. In previous travels I have gone through one of those machines that puffs air at you, captures the particulate, and analyzes that for threats. On first glance I kind of thought this machine did the same thing - until I went through it.

Now if you've been reading what's going on with me lately you will know that I am pregnant. And although this pregnancy is sure to end in miscarriage for me, I am still concerned, until that happens, about what happens with my body. So are there risks to fetuses from ultra high frequency radio waves? Are there risks to me? I couldn't find a definitive answer.

All in all I feel a little violated. If given the choice to make an informed decision about going into that booth, I would have opted for a physical pat-down. I don't like the idea that an image of my naked body was just searched visually. It gives me the creeps.

So thanks a lot, Baltimore Washington International Airport, for an icky end to an otherwise great vacation.
Posted by Emily B at 1:48 PM 9 nice people said something
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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Heading south

We're leaving later today! It's not a big trip, but it's going to be a fun one. We'll be driving and flying. I've never been to any of the places I'm going before. I'm looking forward to it!

Some giveaways for today:

For baby:
For the ladies:
  • Win a $50 gift certificate to Amon Maternity at Ohana Mama. (Canadian winner will have to pay shipping.) Ends November 3rd.
  • Win a handbag of your choice from Handbag Heaven on the Handbag Heaven blog! Ends October 28th.
See you next week!
Posted by Emily B at 9:47 AM 2 nice people said something
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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Travelling and waiting

So, we're going on a trip this weekend, heading down to the States with my brother and sister in law for some shopping and sight-seeing. The dollar's nearly at par, and we're in need of some new clothes. Today, for instance, I'm wearing a t-shirt that had bleach spilled on it. Not in an artsy, funky way - just in a ruined shirt way. Classy. Definitely time for some new clothes.

This is definitely not a regular expedition for us - I think the last time I went to the US exclusively for shopping was in the eighties, as a kid, with my mum and dad! So it will be fun to see if we can get some deals. I have heard that Pennsylvania's the place to go, and someone else recommended Detroit for outlet shopping, but it wasn't me planning this trip and so we're going a little further afield, to hit the Arundel Mills mall. Anyone been there? I hope it's good.

As for me, I'm getting more and more anxious to have some closure on this miscarriage. I know I talk about it a lot (boring right?!) but it's pretty much on my mind all the time. I know that this is going to end that way (it's not just a feeling - the HCG levels aren't rising properly, and there are other clear indicators that this is going to terminate), but my body keeps trying to convince me otherwise. My body is pregnant and keeps reminding me that it is. The more pregnant I feel, the more that hope creeps in - which is bad, because I know I should absolutely not get my hopes up. There is no chance this pregnancy will result in a baby. So the longer this goes on, the more painful it's going to be both emotionally and physically.

Yet, there seems to be very little help for me from the medical professionals at this point. The earliest ultrasound I could get was for next Monday (and results take up to a week). My family doctor is referring me to an OB (as of last Friday) but I haven't heard from them yet (though I've been calling to try to rush things along). Meanwhile, each day that passes is another day wasted, another day of spotting, another day of useless pregnancy nausea and sore boobs. Another day of over the top hormonal emotions. Another day of the slight pains and cramping. Another day of futile growth that will have to go - and the more growth, the more pain when it does go.

So to me, and my husband as he is dealing with it too, this is urgent. And incredibly frustrating.

Anyway. There's my whining for today (I saved up from yesterday ;) )
And here are some giveaways.

For baby:
For the ladies:
  • Win a $50 gift certificate to Amon Maternity at Mommy? I'm Hungry! Canadian winners must pay shipping. Ends October 27th.
  • Win a bamboo tee and stainless steel water bottle from Green Cricket at Country Mouse, City Mouse. Ends October 25th.
  • Win a pair of Hatley Pyjamas at Jolly Mom. Ends November 4th.
  • (or for kids) Win a tee from Andira Rain (three winners!) at Sweeps4Bloggers. Ends October 30th.
For anyone:
  • Win a $50 gift certificate to ecopiggy at Mkokopelli. (Lots of baby stuff, but also other eco-friendly goods) Ends November 2nd.
  • Win a $50 gift certificate to Novica at A Happy Hippy Mom. Ends November 10th.
  • Win a Cuisinart ice cream maker at Tri to Cook! Oh, my. I want one of these. My mum used to make amazing homemade ice cream... I wanna play! Ends October 26th.
Posted by Emily B at 9:17 AM 2 nice people said something
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Wondering what today is?

I declare today to be No Whining Tuesday. So put on your happy face, don't whine and don't tolerate whining. And if your thoughts should turn to negative things, make a point of thinking of at least two positive things. At least, that's my plan.
Some giveaways out there...

For baby:
  • Win a $25 gift certificate to The Corner Stork at My Wee View (one of my favourite Canadian blogs!). Ends October 27th.
  • Win a Boba baby carrier (the new carrier on the block) at Dirty Diaper Laundry. Ends November 2nd.
  • Win a Knickernappies OS diaper from Cloth Baby Bums at Happily Domestic. Ends November 2nd.
  • Win two PrairieTales pocket diapers and a wetbag at Happily Domestic! Ends November 1st.
  • Two winners get their choice of prizes from WildChildforBabies at Newly Wed, Newly Bred. Ends October 28th.
  • Win a BabyBjorn Original Spirit carrier at The Deal Scoop! Ends October 26th.
For the ladies:
For men:
For anyone:
  • Win a $50 gift certificate to Novica at Latina On A Mission. Hello, Christmas presents! Ends October 31st.
And if you haven't yet entered my current giveaway for the Spice Up Your Life cookbook, head on over and get your comment in. It ends on the 27th.
Posted by Emily B at 11:18 AM 1 nice people said something
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Skin Free Winner!

The winner of the $30 gift certificate to Skin Free is...

Evil Angel (confirmed)!

Congrats and I hope you enjoy your win!
Posted by Emily B at 10:16 AM 0 nice people said something
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Monday, October 19, 2009

Good morning...

Today is the LAST day to enter my giveaway for your choice of natural skin care products from Skin Free! I'll draw the winner tomorrow!
So I am okay (well as okay as I can be) with having another miscarriage. I accept this. It's easier being so early. But it hasn't happened yet, I'm waiting for an OB appointment to find out more, the next ultrasound appointment isn't for a week, and meanwhile... I am starting to feel pregnant. No! It's bad enough knowing a baby is once again not in the cards, but to have to be nauseous, have sore breasts, skin breakouts, be thirsty and tired all the time, uber-emotional... for nothing... So unfair. Ugh.

So. Giveaways.

For the ladies:
For baby:
Posted by Emily B at 10:06 AM 1 nice people said something
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Friday, October 16, 2009

Results

Thank you for the kind words...

We just got back - the numbers indicate that it is miscarriage #2.

At least... it's not as far along as the first, so I wasn't as emotionally invested. And not being as far along means (hopefully) that it won't be as horribly painful as the first. There isn't exactly a silver lining or bright side here; that's the best I can do.

I'll probably have to go for a D&C this time which is scary. I'm getting a referral to an OB/gyn. Hopefully they will be able to address our troubles in a way my family doctor can't.
Posted by Emily B at 12:12 PM 5 nice people said something
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Down

I'm feeling down this morning. I am accepting that either way, the results I get later today will be bad. Either my HCG levels are going down - which means a second miscarriage, or going up - which is worse - because it would mean a possible ectopic pregnancy. I'm pretty sure there's no way this is a viable pregnancy considering that Aunt Flo has been visiting for the last 40 days (and has definitely worn out her welcome), and I've been having constant pain.

So I'm feeling miserable. I'm an optimistic person, but this past few months have really been wearing on me. It's hard to keep a happy outlook when your hopes keep getting kicked in the face.

Hubby has the flu, so he's miserable too.

And all my friends are now new moms (the ones who weren't moms already). The only people I know without kids now are 10 years younger than I am. Logically I know that maybe next time we will be lucky, and their joy has nothing to do with my sadness, but in my heart I have the useless, frustrated, childish reaction that it's not fair, and why can't that be me? I've been faking being okay and cheerful but it's so hard to keep up the facade.

Things to look forward to... we are going to the States next weekend for a mini-vacation. We are going to Mexico in November for our one-year anniversary. Neither of those things are really making me feel any better right now, but hopefully they help take my mind off the crap that my heart and my body have been going through.

I might do a giveaways list later today, but right now I'm just not up to it.
Posted by Emily B at 10:29 AM 3 nice people said something
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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Anxious!

Oh, my. My stomach is in knots. I couldn't sleep. I can't concentrate. What's going on with me? I'm waiting to find out at least one answer (that leads to more questions)....

...And that answer won't come until tomorrow. Results aren't back yet. ARGH.

Some giveaways to take my mind off things:

For baby:
For mum:
  • Win a Duffle Your Bag Standard Labour Bag at Sure Baby. Ends October 31st.
and if you haven't yet, go on and enter to win a great cookbook or super nice skin care here on my blog! links at top left!
Posted by Emily B at 11:13 AM 2 nice people said something
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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Impatient haiku

The blood test is done.
We get results tomorrow.
Waiting is so hard!

____
don't forget to enter my current giveaways! an awesome cookbook and some awesome skin care. links at top left!
Posted by Emily B at 3:17 PM 4 nice people said something
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The list

I got a haircut today... it looks pretty good, but I decided to get some sideswept bangs (yeah, that photo on my profile is a little out of date). Now the bangs are falling in my face all the time. I forgot about that part. Hm, I should get a new profile photo!

Tomorrow's my doctor's appointment. I'm not expecting any answers but I do want to request some tests and, I think, a specialist. If you haven't been following what's going on and are interested, basically I had a miscarriage in June and now am having some health/fertility issues... lately involving trips to the ER. Not so fun and very worrisome.

Okay, on to more optimistic things - giveaways :) I've got two going on here:

$30 gift certificate to Skin Free (10/19)
and
Spice Up Your Life cookbook (10/27) (new!)

Both open to US and Canada. If you haven't entered, these are both things I have tried and loved, and I'm sure you will too. You should go enter right now!

Elsewhere -

For baby:
  • Win a $25 gift certificate to Daisy's Children's Boutique and Toy Store at Buggie and Jellybean. Ends October 18th.
  • Win a $75 Zutano gift certificate to their Itzy Bitzy collection (newborn clothing) at Simple. Ends October 18th.
  • Two winners: a Paci Sitter or a Toy Sitter of choice from Tutimnyc at Project Nursery. Ends October 16th.
For mums:
  • Win a Pampered Mama gift box from The Spoiled Mama at My Wee View. Ends October 16th.
  • Six winners of one these prizes: three belly belts, one pair of maternity tights, one super bra or one pair of perfect fit undies from Fertile Mind at Mommy News & Views, as part of their blogiversary celebration! Ends October 26th.
  • Win a Hooter Hider from Bebe Au Lait at Mommy News & Views, as well. Ends October 29th.
more to come... but probably not until Thursday as my hubby is taking my laptop tomorrow! See you then :)
Posted by Emily B at 3:05 PM 3 nice people said something
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Spice Up Your Life! Review and Giveaway!

***This giveaway has ended***
Winner: Eve

My husband and I are 'foodies'. There, I said it. It's good to have that out in the open (if you didn't guess already by my posts!). We love our food - trying new restaurants, cooking at home, baking, preserves, you name it.

We have a reputation among our friends and family that good meals are guaranteed at our house. We are also vegetarian (I am 100%; my husband is vegetarian at home, and eats meat and fish on occasion at restaurants). Far from limiting our options, I have found that having a vegetarian diet has made me a much better cook. Once you get out of the mindset of answering "what's for dinner?" with "meat and two sides", you have a whole world of opportunities to be more creative with your meals. I adopted a vegetarian diet in January of 2001 and have never looked back.

So with my love of food and interest in cooking, I'm always on the hunt for new recipes. In fact, this month alone I got three new cookbooks. Yeah, it's an obsession!

One of the books I received this month was Spice Up Your Life, by Bindu Grandhi. (I was super lucky and won a copy over at Wishing Penny.)

The book is inspired by Indian flavours, so if you love Indian food like we do, you will love the flavours - turmeric, garam masala, cumin, cardamom and coconut make appearances. If you are new to these flavours, get ready to fall in love! We find the flavours to be rich, exotic and interesting, never overpowering.

This cookbook is a proponent of a 'flexitarian' diet - which just means that "it focuses primarily on grains, fruits, and vegetables, with proteins such as seafood and poultry mixed in sparingly." (So it's not just for vegetarians like me; there are lots of recipes inside to satisfy any family's needs.) This way of eating is good for your health - low in saturated fat, high in fiber, which can help you maintain a healthy weight and reduce your risk of hypertension, heart disease, diabetes and prostate and breast cancer. Sounds good, right?

There are loads of vegetarian recipes in here, and I'm also used to adapting recipes to be vegetarian (I've been told my vegetarian tacos and burgers are better than meat versions by die-hard carnivores!), so recipes like Chili Chicken can easily become veggie meals by switching out the chicken for seitan. So for anyone, the entire book would be a great go-to book for dinner, whether it's quick weeknight cooking that you're looking for, or something to impress guests on the weekend.

The very day I got the book in my mailbox, I flipped through and immediately found a recipe to make for dinner that night. I had all the ingredients already, and it looked easy and delicious. I was not disappointed! I made the Rice Pilaf with Red Lentils. Yum! My husband loved it, too. I found the rice and lentils cooked up quickly in my rice cooker (although you don't need one, I love mine) while I prepared the rest of the meal. It was truly a 25-minute meal, filling, delicious and perfect for a weeknight supper.

You can buy Spice Up Your Life on Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, or Barnes and Noble. It's a great price and I'm thinking would make an excellent Christmas gift for the foodie in your life (or for yourself!).

I was so pleased with Spice Up Your Life and the meals we've already enjoyed from it, that I contacted Bindu to let her know. She has graciously agreed to provide a copy of Spice Up Your Life to one of my readers! Here's how to enter:

Mandatory entry:
Check out Bindu's website, The Flex Cook, and share in a comment what recipe(s) you would love to try from the sample recipes section. Please do this first!

Extra entries:
  • 1 entry: follow me (publicly) on blogger
  • 1 entry: add my button to your blog, or if you already have it let me know - leave your blog address, please!
  • 3 entries: blog about this giveaway with a link back to this post
Six possible chances to win! Be sure to leave your email address, at least in your first comment, if it's not visible in your profile - and leave one comment per entry.

This giveaway is open to residents of the US and Canada, and ends at 11:59 pm EST October 27th. Comments left after that time will be deleted. I'll draw the winner using a randomizer, announce both on this post and that day's post, and also email the winner. If I don't hear back within 48 hours, I'll draw another winner. Good luck!

***This giveaway has ended***
Posted by Emily B at 10:19 AM 26 nice people said something
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