Christmas shopping

DH and I took the day yesterday and went Christmas shopping. I don't go to malls much, and if I do it's usually on a weekday (working at home and being self-employed has its privileges!). So I was a little unprepared for the madness (even on a Friday) before Christmas. It was a zoo.

The hard thing was this. I woke up feeling sad, after a vivid dream that my cousin was pregnant with her fourth. I mean, that would be happy, but it made me feel sad about the two pregnancy losses and the waiting and worry about trying again. Then at the mall we went into The Childrens Place to look for Christmas gifts for the nieces and nephew. And it (of course) was packed with strollers and babies... I kept it together although I did rush DH out of there when I realized I was starting to fall apart.

But the mall itself was full of moms, strollers, babies everywhere. In front of us walking were two moms carrying their babies and pushing strollers. There was nowhere to look without seeing something that reminded me.

And I lost it. I started crying and I just couldn't stop. In the mall. Totally embarrassing. We found a seat at the food court and DH went to get me a Starbucks - he was so nice, hugging me and going to get me something that usually makes me happy, but he really doesn't know how to handle it when I lose it like that. People were staring at me and all I could do was try to stop crying. He told me people in the line-up for coffee were asking him if I was okay and giving him dirty looks, too - little did they know, it wasn't his fault I was crying and he was doing what he could to make me feel better.

You would think you'd get over it, at least enough to go through the day without bursting into tears at something little like seeing babies at the mall. It's been 5 months and two weeks since the miscarriage. It's been six weeks since the ectopic pregnancy was terminated. And I'm okay, most days, but once in a while it all just comes back to the surface and I realize what I thought was healing is still an open wound.

Anyway... we did get a large part of the shopping done, although I'm not finished. I've got the husband to buy for (he's so hard to shop for!) and we want to do some homemade goodies for our friends and neighbours. Plus all that wrapping (how do you wrap two king-size pillows???)... And we don't have the tree yet (maybe this afternoon?).

I don't feel the Christmas spirit at all this year. I was 'supposed' to be 35 weeks pregnant at Christmas. It was 'supposed' to be a time full of excitement, anticipation and preparation. Now... it's just a time to see all the families around us having their babies' first Christmas, and thinking about what we have lost. I AM hopeful for next time. But it doesn't diminish the pain from the last two times.

Christmas sucks.

Done venting... for now anyway! Giveaways:

For the ladies:

• Win an Everyday Minerals Everyday Resort pallet and a lavender mint lip balm at Today's Diva. A winner drawn weekly for 10 weeks, ending February 15th.
• Win a scarf from Affordable Scarves at Cool Canucks! They have some really nice ones. Ends January 21st.
  

For anyone:

• Win a Mia Mallows sampler pack (gourmet marshmallows, mm.. not vegetarian, but I bet they're yummy!) at Oh My Baby. Ends December 13th so hurry!
  

Ow, winter! Cut it out!

I have a chiropractor appointment today, good thing because my back is KILLING me from the 10" of dense, wet snow I shoveled off the driveway yesterday.

I was thinking it would be nice for my husband to come home and actually be able to pull in the driveway. Little did I know that the plow would come by later and leave 8' of road unplowed in front of our house, with a 3' wall of packed snow at the edge of it. The downside of living on the inside corner of the street.... the plows always cut the corner! We end up having to shovel the street. ARGH. DH always calls the town to complain, not that it makes any difference.

And... I still haven't done any Christmas shopping. Yikes! I just realized how close Christmas is. I need to make a list or something.

A few giveaways for today:

For baby:

• Win a Cloud B Polar Cuddle Cub at {Natural} Mommie. Ends December 18th.
• Win a Belle baby carrier at Jabbering Jessi. Ends December 20th.
• Win a Thirsties duo diaper and detergent at Suburban Saving Mama. Ends December 22nd.
• Win a Flip Diaper System from Diaper Junction at Suburban Saving Mama. Ends December 28th.
• Win a set of aden+anais swaddling blankets at Tara's View of the World! Ends December 19th.
• Win a Ringley ball teether at In the Know Mom. Ends December 15th.
• Another chance to win a Ringley teether at Organic Girl. Ends December 27th.
• Win a Wahmies wetbag at Suburban Saving Mama. Ends December 28th.
  

For the ladies:

• Win a $250 gift certificate to Moody Mamas (maternity & nursing wear) at Design Dazzle! Ends December 12th.
• Win a facial exfoliating creme by Aguacate & Co. at {Natural} Mommie. Ends December 14th.
• Win a Bravado Allure underwire nursing bra at Your Mama Reviews. Ends December 17th.
• Win a whole outfit from Shade Clothing at petit elefant! Ends December 14th.
  

For anyone:

• Win a $110 Visa card from Kodak at Feisty, Frugal and Fabulous. Wouldn't that come in handy at this time of year?! Ends December 15th.
• Win a $20 Sobeys gift card at CoolCanucks. This is courtesy of cqueen2 - if you are a Canadian contester you will recognize the name! Open to Canadians only! Ends December 14th.
• One more chance to win a $20 Sobeys gift card at CoolCanucks. This one courtesy of toolman. Open to Canadians only! Ends December 13th.
• Win a $25 gift certificate to EcoStore USA (which, btw, is having a HUGE sale right now) at Simply Living on a Budget. Ends December 19th.
• Win a Better Life Green Cleaning Starter Kit at My Wee View. Ends December 18th.
• Win a wonderful Glade holiday pack at Country Mouse, City Mouse. Ends December 22nd.
  

I'm sure you're tired of hearing about it, but there is still time to enter my giveaway as well for a box of delicious PC Chocolatey Chai Tea... I am still loving this although I've managed to cut back from my original 4 cups a day to just one! Luckily I don't think it has caffeine - or at least if it does, it's so minimal I don't feel it (and I can usually feel it these days, since I kicked the caffeinated habit).

Quick! Canadians, get your FREE L'Oreal Collegen Lip Filler

L'Oreal is giving away another 400 full sized units today on ChickAdvisor!

Here's the best part:
When you fill out the form, add a friend you'd like to gift one to and we'll send you an extra one to share with her! Great stocking stuff idea, yes?

To enter, visit the product link on ChickAdvisor here, click on the Get Yours button and fill out the form so the product can be shipped to you.*

*Please note this offer is open to Canadian residents only and there is a limit
of one entry per household. Products are given away on a first come, first served basis. Filling out the form doesn't guarantee you will receive the product, it is on a first come, first served basis, but we will disable the form as soon as possible once all units have been claimed.

Sewing machine blues

My sewing machine that my grandmother passed on to me, an old beast of a Singer from the 1960's, has finally given up the ghost. I took it in for repairs and the parts are no longer available. This hard-working machine is now a very heavy piece of garbage (doesn't that suck?).

So I'm in the market for a new sewing machine. And I have a feeling I might get one for Christmas, if I can narrow it down to one or two likely candidates.

I would love to hear about it if any of you have a sewing machine you love (or hate), and what features are must haves. I do some quilting, some clothing, some things for the home like drapes, that sort of thing. I'm not an every-day sewer, but I do enjoy it and am really looking forward to getting a machine that I don't have to fight with over tension (!!).

Not least because I have some really cute wall hangings that are half-finished and I'd really love to get those done and delivered to my best friend's gorgeous daughter's nursery! They're meant to go with this quilt.

Brand recommendations, features, any thoughts?

Canadians, get your free Vaseline Sheer Infusion body lotion!

FYI:

ChickAdvisor and Vaseline have teamed up to hand out a ton of the new body lotion. Click quick to get in on it!

"The lucky recipients will receive 100% off coupons to be used in-store to redeem the lotion. To be eligible, visit the Vaseline Sheer Infusion reviews page here and look for the "Get Yours" button that will appear for a limited period of time today. Click on that and fill out the form.

To be considered, you must be a Canadian resident and there is a limit of one per household. Please note that filling out the form does not guarantee you will receive one as it is first come, first served. The button will disappear from the page when we've hit the limit of eligible recipients."

Click here!

Yep, feels like Monday.

It's a grey, dreary day, I've got cramps in a bad way and the dog's been sneaking into the kitchen again (where he's not allowed) - as evidenced by the trail of drips from his wet face as he foolishly had a drink immediately prior.

Did I mention that on Friday, when we were out at the party, he snuck in there, pulled a loaf of bread off the counter, un-wrapped it and ate the whole thing?

He's got a thing for bread.

We love him, but he sure is trouble sometimes.

I've got to go get the last (hopefully) of my blood work done today. Last Monday my BHCG level was at 9 and the doctor wants it to drop below 5. So this week I hope I can put the ectopic pregnancy firmly in the past. Time marches on... I'm waiting for it to march into February so we can actually start trying again. I have to say I am so sick of needles. I really feel for people who need ongoing blood work or injections.

I started a Facebook fan page for my artwork - my husband's idea - and I think it's kind of weird to do that. I'm so not into self-promotion. Yes, I see the irony - here I am letting you know... Now that it's up, it's kind of embarrassing that I only have 4 fans: myself, my husband, my SIL and a friend!

And as usual, some giveaways... there's mine, too, for the tea (go on and enter, if you haven't!)

For baby:

• Win a green Sleepy Wrap carrier at Simple. Ends December 14th.
• Win a $25 gift certificate to Aylings Great Baby Company at Organic Girl. Open to Canadians only! Ends January 7th.
• Win two BPA-free bottles (a Life Factory Wee Go and a Born Free) from SproutBaby at Jamie's Precious Peas. Ends December 16th.
• Win an AIO diaper from Sweet Punkin Patch at Canadian Natural Mama. Ends December 16th.
• Win a Cloud b Polar Cuddle Cub at Country Mouse, City Mouse. Open to Canadians only! Ends December 21st.

For the home:

• The first 100 respondents each month can get a Randomness of Six kit which includes six of Earth Friendly Products top sellers. (I have a feeling December's are already spoken for, but bookmark this for January!
  

Our dog, Cadbury

is the Pet of the Week! Check it out :)

I sent in his best, handsome head shot for that... but he's got some other great looks.
Take, for example,
his "don't bug me. I'm sleeping" look:
(yes, that's his tongue lolling out of his mouth as he sleeps)...

and his especially attractive 'gremlin' look:We love him!