The Potty Monster

I've done it. I've inadvertently created a potty monster.

Mia's been doing so well with toilet training. She rarely has accidents (once in a while, a pee when she's doing something too exciting to leave, or on waking from a nap). We even had a great success the other day when she told me she had to go the moment we got on the highway - and it was about 10 minutes to the next exit with a store with a bathroom we could rush into - and she made it! I was so proud of her.

She's done great with going in strange places too, like the mall, grocery store, restaurants, and friends' houses. I don't even need to bring her travel potty seat as she has no qualms about sitting on random toilets.

So we praise her, and tell her how proud we are of her. Treats worked as an initial incentive, but she's pretty much forgotten to ask most of the time now, as going on the toilet becomes just another routine.

However - there is a down side that I was not expecting.

I knew finding bathrooms on the fly could be tough. I'm starting to develop a mental map of likely places. I knew I might need to keep a stock of M&M's in my purse for incentive emergencies (and hey, if I sneak one now and then who will know? :) ).

What I didn't know is that all that emphasis on how proud we were of her for peeing when we're out would create a monster. Now, if we are out she needs to go - regardless of how recently she's been.

For instance, today, we did a bathroom trip before we left the house. A five-minute drive later, we were at the restaurant. We were waiting in line for ten minutes (it was busy!) when I hear her little voice pipe up, "I need to use the toilet!" You can't ignore a toddler who needs to pee. They don't have awesome bladder control, and while I keep a spare set of clothes with me, I'm not crazy about carrying around pee-soaked pants.

We abandoned our spot in line and went to find the restroom. "Thank you for telling me," I said to her on the way. Once enthroned, she sat for a moment, faked a "try" and said, "I do nothing. I'm all done!"

Oh, boy.

In the middle of the night

3:38 am.

I hear Mia cry out in her crib from my bedroom - she still only has to make the slightest sound and I wake. In I go. "I peed," she says, sleepily. We've been doing very well with toilet training, and she takes it pretty seriously. About half the time she'll wake and tell me she needs to go before she has, and we make a sleepy trip to the washroom.

So, I get her out of her night diaper and we go "have a try" on the toilet. Nothing happens. My tired girl is falling asleep on the seat. I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, enormous belly and all, also wavering between sleep and waking. We pull up a new diaper, and she reaches out, gives me a big hug and a kiss and says, "You're a nice mummy."

At that moment I forgave her for a million night wakings... I had tears in my eyes as I hugged her back, told her how proud I was of her for trying on the toilet, gave her a big cuddle and put her back in her crib. "Night, Mummy," she says as I stroke her forehead, turn on her ocean sounds, and leave the room.

I lie in bed for the next twenty minutes as the baby in my belly kicks and wiggles. If I get up in the night, so does he - the minute I lie down again. I think about my sweet girl and how she's never said those words to me before. Sure, she's said "I love you", but I've never been sure if that's a mimic response or the real thing.

4:18 am.

I am just drifting back to sleep, finally, when I hear the urgent call from Mia's room. "Mummy! MUMMY!"

I haul my seven-months-pregnant and very tired self once again out of bed and half-stumble, half-lurch into her room.

"What's the matter, Bunny?" 

"I had a little popcorn. I eat it all up. I watch the Croods with Daddy. Night Mummy. Have a good sleep." 

Okay. That one was a lot less worth getting up for....

Potty training... the adventure begins!

Yeah, I'm going right ahead and talking about poop on my blog. I became a Mum, that's what happened.

I admit it, I'm not entirely ready for potty training. We have one more big trip coming up (two weeks in Maui! I can't wait!) and I feel like we should wait until that upheaval's over before we begin.

My husband is ready - and has been for about 5 months.

My 23-month-old daughter? Well, she's surprising me.

We started her on the toilet at about 5 months old, really sporadically - put her on, go "Sssss" and she would sometimes go. Great, but not reliable and I honestly wasn't anywhere near regular with it. The good of that is that she is used to sitting there, not afraid of the flush (she likes to do it herself), and understands what it's for.  We also have a fairly open-door policy (where she is concerned) with us using the bathroom. She sees Mum and Dad using the toilet and we talk about what we're doing, wiping, flushing, washing our hands, and so on.

Santa (a.k.a. Mummy) got her some fabulous Big Girl Underwear for Christmas, which made a big impression. She talks about her owl underwear often and I think she's pretty keen to wear it.

I also got this great book out of the library, Diapers Are Not Forever, which we have been reading daily. She is REALLY interested in it, and asks for it, sometimes twice in a row, at bedtime and nap time. I like the way it doesn't dumb things down, but explains how and why we go on the toilet instead of in a diaper. Just like the big kids! I strongly recommend this book, as I think it's really helping her understand and prepare for the change.

I have looked at the various lists for readiness (stays dry overnight or during naps, can pull pants up and down by herself, tells when she needs to go, etc) and I don't see it. She will stay dry for a nap (her naps are short anyway), but definitely not at night. She has trouble with her pants, but can do it if she puts her mind to it. She definitely won't tell us when she needs to pee, but is pretty obvious about pooping.

We have had a bit of a breakthrough lately because of that. She was (ahem, TMI maybe) a little constipated this past weekend so it was extremely apparent when she was trying to poop. So we made a bit of a point of taking her to the toilet to try. And we are using chocolate chips and lots of praise as an incentive for successful trips to the toilet.

We had a successful toilet poop on the weekend, and then yesterday caught another one. This morning we were cuddling and nursing in bed (hey, she wakes at 5:30 am.... I'm not ready to get out of bed yet and like to prolong the down time with nursing) when she told me, "I poop on toilet!"

"What?!" I nearly shouted with excitement, "Do you need to go?"

"Yes!" she said, and off we rushed to the bathroom, where she promptly peed on the toilet. Yeah, her diaper was already soaked from the night, and okay, so she hasn't quite got the lingo down. But wow, that's awesome!

And today I have caught her 'trying' to poop in her diaper twice and we made it to the bathroom to do it in the toilet both times.

So we are doing remarkably well with poop... now to figure out how to get her to pee there on a consistent basis!

I'm seriously not in a rush as I feel like the traveling we'll be doing might set us back and that would be frustrating and disappointing for her. I want her to feel proud of her success. That said, I'm not that fond of dealing with poopy cloth diapers - and I definitely want her to be well out of diapers by the time the new baby arrives in June! The time is coming!

My loose plan is go simply go without diapers and straight into underwear (or go Naked Baby style if I don't think she'll catch a chill) and hang out in our tiled (and therefore easy to clean up accidents) basement for a few days. Incentives and praise for success, no shame in misses. I've heard this can be a one- to seven- day process, so I want to be able to set aside and commit the time and effort to it.

What were your successes with toilet training? Did you get on it early, or late? I'd love to hear your experiences.

Note: the links for the book are affiliate links, meaning I get a few cents from Amazon if you choose to buy through these links. I'm not kidding though, this book has really made a difference in the way she perceives going on the toilet.