Friday, September 25, 2009


The painter's son is sick so he's not coming today. We were up late last night moving furniture out of his way. One extra night of chaos... not cool. We are so looking forward to having our house back to ourselves, neat and tidy. He has a lot of work to do yet - our whole hall and living room, entry, closet, and touch-ups all over the house. So he's coming tomorrow. DH won't be happy about it. I'm not particularly happy about it either.

The last of my seven no-longer-pregnant friends had her baby last night - a sweet little boy named Jonah. I adore the newborns (seven in the last two months, good grief), and their moms - but here is my confession. It makes me feel so sad inside as well. I would have been just over 23 weeks pregnant if I hadn't had the miscarriage. I wish the heartbreak would ease. It is not easy to let go of what might have been when you are surrounded by others' joyful successes. It makes me feel so alone; all of my friends are now busy with their new babies and I am still wishing for one with all my heart.

The thing that also sucks is that my cycle is all out of whack since it happened. I am not sure when I'll be back to normal physically... it's a constant reminder - like I needed one.

If you've come for the usual giveaway list, I'm sorry - I'm taking a day off from that today... I may change my mind later today when I'm feeling more myself, but for now I just need to think about something other than great baby products. Most of the time I'm full of hope but today I feel so desolate and am having trouble dealing. I don't usually vent too much but I needed it today.


  1. I am sorry you are having a rough day. If I could I would bring you some coffee and a cupcake! And a hug!

  2. Vent away! Chaotic house, unfinished painting and your loss entitle you to have a vent now and again!

    Hopefully the painting is done soon :)

  3. sounds like you may be having a bit of a rough journey . COngrats to your friends on the baby. I hope you get the painting done soon. Thanks for stopping by my blog


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