Monday, August 19, 2013

Life with two

I haven't been posting that much lately, I know! With a busy - very busy - two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, and with this little guy who just turned two months, I'm not finding much time to myself these days. They decline to sleep at the same times, so I'm awake pretty much always.

Dexter is adorable, and very sweet - when he's not being colicky, which is often. There's a lot of crying. He strongly (and vocally) prefers to be held upright, with his head leaned way back, and bounced, with the bathroom fan on. All at once, and immediately, as soon as it occurs to him that that's not happening at any particular moment. So I spend a lot of time standing, swaying and bouncing in a dark bathroom with the fan on.

My daughter is adjusting fairly well, no real jealousy, but there are a lot more tantrums, and she is usually seeking the attention she used to get, which I just can't give her. I'm always saying, "Not just now, honey, I'm nursing/changing/bouncing/holding Dexter" and I can see the disappointment in her eyes. It is frustrating for both of us. I feel like our connection is not as strong as it once was, and I miss my time with her alone.

Me, I'm holding up - but lack of sleep is definitely making life difficult. I have no energy and find myself irritable and tearful much too often. PPD or just exhaustion? It's hard to tell. Anyway, I'm sure I will get back to more regular posts as things get easier. (They'll get easier, right? RIGHT?!?)

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